Lola Davina is the author of Thriving in Sex Work: Heartfelt Advice for Staying Sane in the Sex Industry. This book is intended to help everyone in the industry. In her first book, Davina talks about how to maintain mental and physical health while working in camming and other industry professions.
Hard work is said to be the main key to success in the camming industry, but what does that really mean? The work starts with setting boundaries, since most clients are after three things: your time, money, and agreement to do what they want. This makes the job more difficult. Regular requests in messages or letters for a personal meeting – all these attempts to transfer communication from the chat room to real life are emotionally draining and prevent you from concentrating on work.
This is doubly unpleasant, since the members know what site you work on, and this kind of correspondence can threaten you with blocking. You don’t always know when to put an end to this: do you turn them off right away or wait a little, in the hope that they will switch their attention to something else? Everyone knows that the best thing about webcam is the ability to direct your own work. So do it as efficiently as possible!
What do you agree to do and for how much?
Never agree to something you don’t like! Forget about apologizing or making excuses. One phrase, “Don’t expect this from me,” is quite enough. And if the member continues to push, you can say the following: “If this is all you are looking for, I am not the one you need. If you stop asking for it, we’ll get along. And if not, good riddance!”
The next step we’ll talk about is extremely important: write down everything you agree and disagree with and leave it somewhere visible. You must remember exactly your own rules to maintain your psychological health.
One of my good friends put this list in a beautiful gold frame and placed it on the table next to her bed. Every time it was necessary, she took the frame and read her rules out loud. Don’t be afraid to block users!
You shouldn’t be tormented by pangs of conscience, much less think that you’re a bad model. This is real life! If someone behaves inappropriately, you don’t have to put up with it.
Be extremely careful with personal information!
I advise you to write a two-page story about yourself, as if you were telling a complete stranger about your life: where you grew up, where you studied, when is your birthday, your first sexual experience. You can tell the truth, lie, or make up a half-true story. Once you do this once, you won’t have to strain your imagination every time you talk about yourself.
Stir up interest, because meeting members in real life is impossible!
It happens that you have a regular client whom you absolutely don’t want to lose, but who insists on meeting. A person wants to transfer your relationship from the virtual world to the real one. If this is not part of your plans, but you are not going to lose such a client, try to maintain his interest in you, and at the same time make it clear that meeting in real life is not an option: “Darling, it can’t be better than this! You wouldn’t even look back after me if you met me on the street. This is where nothing holds me back. I love that we can secretly spend time together doing whatever we want and then go back to our normal lives!”
Write yourself a letter called “In Case of Emergency”
This is a letter you should write to yourself in advance in case you have a terrible day. Write it as if you were writing to your best friend. Tell yourself that you are not fat, ugly, or a failure. You are beautiful! You are wonderful! Sometimes you will hate your job, but don’t take it too personally. Hide this letter somewhere away and re-read it on those days when some member offends you or tries to force you to do something against your will. Re-read it on those days when you are simply sad.
When you set clear rules for yourself, the risk of burnout is reduced to a minimum, and you begin to attract worthy clients. That’s when webcam becomes a job that brings pleasure. Because you are the boss!
